Married Me: An Open Letter To My Single Self

Dear Bachelor Me,

The rumors of your demise have been greatly exaggerated.

When I think back to those days leading up to the wedding, your heart was a mixed bag of feelings and emotions. At times, your anxiety and trepidation surrounding the notion of marriage seemed to be overwhelming.  Coming up in a world where the divorce rate outweighs the statistic for successful relationships, it’s easy to feel concerned.  By the age of thirty, you had witnessed an alarming number of friends, family, and acquaintances who had failed to stay together.  In the wake of their divorces, you did your best to listen, to console, and to understand the disappointment they were experiencing and the reasons it occurred.

Then there are those who did manage to stay together, in the most melancholy of partnerships.   Complaints of financial burden,  stagnant sex lives, and overall monotony seemed to be a black cloud hovering over many who, dare I say, regretfully were together til death do them part.

And there you were, standing at the fork in the road, preparing to make one of the biggest decisions of your life.  To say goodbye to the style of living you had become quite comfortable with, and to begin a new journey with an irreplaceable partner.

Well I’m writing to tell you, me, without a single doubt in my mind, you made the right choice.

As men, we often ignorantly forego the notion that we need a partner in this world.  We yearn to be independent, to be self-reliant, to be confident in our own personal strengths and abilities to succeed. Never show weakness. Never ask for help.  Typical tough guy bravado instilled in us by our fathers and grandfathers and men who came before us.

Here’s the thing. You were able to achieve success alone, and that is awesome. But, with a teammate, the sky is the limit.

Now don’t get me wrong, the transition will be weird for sure.  She will move in and immediately take over half your bachelor pad.  Closet space will all of a sudden become a concern.  You will find bizarre reality television programs saved on your DVR.  You will find hair in your shower drain, scented candles on your coffee table, and tampons in your medicine cabinet.

Don’t freak out.

Some of your single friends will bust your balls everytime you miss a happy hour or all night rager.  They will brag about their one night stands and sexcapades.  They will do everything in their power to try to subtlely discredit the decision you made to choose one woman and only one woman from now until eternity.

Pay them no mind.

Your wife is your rock.  She supports you in all of your entrepreneurial and career moves.  She works fulltime and runs her own business simultaneously.  It’s almost like she feeds off your passion to succeed. Within the first year of being married, she learned how to cook.  She contributes to the bills as well as the savings account.  She exercises regularly and takes care of herself.  She’s a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets.

Now before you get too excited, me, let’s remember one thing.  This isn’t the 1950s.  You aren’t coming home to a cold martini waiting for you, hot dinner on the stove, and warm laundry folded fresh out of the dryer.  You have to do your part too.  There are going to be days when the hamper is overflowing and YOU must do the laundry.  There are going to be nights when she is exhausted and YOU must cook the dinner. Those dirty dishes in the sink? You guessed it me, YOU.

Don’t run away when I’m talking to you.

I’m writing to let you know it’s all working out just fine.  Those anxious feelings you experienced were warranted, but they were unnecessary.  You should’ve never doubted your decision to marry this amazing woman. You fell in love frequently and foolishly in your youth.  But this time, you got it right.

It’s an expensive ring.  It’s a grandiose wedding followed by an amazing honeymoon.  But it’s so much more than that.

It’s her fingers intermingled with yours on an evening walk.  It’s her warm body nestled close to yours as you fall asleep.  It’s her kiss goodbye every morning as you leave for work.  It’s her smiling face greeting yours after a tumultuous work day.

It’s a beautiful life, a life that you both deserve.

Take it from me, me, you done good.


About the Author: Vincent Toscano

Vincent Toscano is an educator, entrepreneur, & cofounder of  He is an animal lover, an avid foodie, and an eclectic enthusiast of music and film.  He owns many leatherbound books, and his home smells of rich mahogany.

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